


You’re My Bad Habit

by JustAnAnxiousKid



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Anxiety, Evan still has that, Fluff, I started writing this when Bad Habit came out and forgot about it lmao, I thought it would be short and sweet, M/M, So yeah, Therapy, because, but it’s finished!!, friends becoming boyfriends, so it’s short, that’s about it, this is a song fic, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 08:30:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18257570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnAnxiousKid/pseuds/JustAnAnxiousKid
Summary: After years of writing letters to himself, Evan thinks he might give another form of writing a try to tell someone special how he feels.





	You’re My Bad Habit

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously the song lyrics are owned by Ben Platt and not me.

_“You always said that I'd come back to you again,_ _  
__'Cause everybody needs a friend, it's true._ _  
__Someone to quiet the voices in my head,_ _  
__Make 'em sing to me instead, it's you.”_ _  
_  
    Doctor Sherman had told Evan that if writing letters to himself wasn’t helping, they could find ways to change the assignment in order to get something beneficial out of it.  
  
_“Hate to say that I love you,_ _  
__Hate to say that I need you,_ _  
__Hate to say that I want you,_ _  
__But I do.”_ _  
_  
    Obviously, Evan had gone home and told Connor. Asked him for ideas of what he could do to gain something from these little letters.   
  
_“Bad habit, I know,_ _  
__But I'm needin' you right now._ _  
__Can you help me out?_ _  
__Can I lean on you?_ _  
__Been one of those days,_ _  
__Sun don't wanna come out._ _  
__Can you help me out?_ _  
__Can I lean on you?”_ _  
_  
    His friend had gave him a simple answer. If writing to himself didn’t help, then he could write to someone else. Said he could help him figure out who if he wanted, but Evan thought it was safe to say he had a solid idea on his own.  
  
_“You make me feel like I'm floatin' off the ground,_ _  
__Above this little town, you do._ _  
__Look at me smile with tears in my eyes,_ _  
__I love the way you lie, I do.”_ _  
_  
    He thought it was obvious who he would write the letter to instead. Connor just couldn’t seem to figure it out though, and it made him feel amused. When the boy asked, he just gave him a warm smile and said to wait and see. He figured that was answer enough for now.  
  
_“Hate to say that I'm lonely,_ _  
__Hate to say that I miss you,_ _  
__Hate to say that it's dark in here,_ _  
__But it's true, oh.”_ _  
_  
    It wasn’t necessarily a random choice. It actually wasn’t random by any means, really. It made perfect sense. Or, at least it did to him. It was rare that Evan thought anything made perfect sense, though.  
  
_“Bad habit, I know,_ _  
__But I'm needin' you right now._ _  
__Can you help me out?_ _  
__Can I lean on you?_ _  
__Been one of those days._ _  
__Sun don't wanna come out,_ _  
__Can you help me out?_ _  
__Can I lean on you?”_ _  
_  
    It made sense, sure, but it probably wasn’t his best plan. After all, writing a letter-poem-whatever to his crush for the past few months? Definitely not good considering how writing a letter about his crush went the first time. All he could do was hope this one didn’t end the same way.  
  
_“Hate to say that I'm lonely,_ _  
__Hate to say that I miss you,_ _  
__Hate to say that it's dark in here,_ _  
__But it's true, oh.”_ _  
_  
    It was terrifying, letting his pen glide against his paper. He didn’t go in his traditional style this time. He figured a letter wouldn’t get across his point right, thought it wouldn’t be able to convey his emotions properly. He decided to try something new, which was even more so terrifying, but he felt that the risk was well worth it. Anything was worth it for him.  
  
_“Bad habit, I know._ _  
__But I'm needin' you right now,_ _  
__Can you help me out?_ _  
__Can I lean on you?_ _  
__Can I lean on you?_ _  
__You,_ _  
__Can I lean on you?”_ _  
_  
    He let his body move on its own. Papers were crumpled and thrown out, sheet music was scraped, piano keys were smashed in frustration, and nights were spent waking up at three with a new line that he just needed to write down. He couldn’t risk forgetting anything, not when he had gotten this far. There was no turning back.  
  
_“Hate to say that I love you,_ _  
__Hate to say that I need you,_ _  
__Hate to say that I want you,_ _  
__But I do.”_  
  
    He pressed the last key on the piano, looking up nervously. Letters were scary enough, but love songs? Those were a whole new level of horrifying.  
  
    He moved his hands from the piano keys, staring nervously at blue eyes with a splash of brown. They both sat there, staring at each other silently with a mix of confusion from Connor and fear from himself.   
  
    “Well?” He asked, eyes searching for any signs of hope.  
  
    “You’re really oblivious.” Connor responded, making his way over to him and sitting on the bench.  
  
    Before he could even open his mouth to get out a single word, it was covered with another pair of lips, and yeah. He was confident in saying that this was a much better way of getting across his feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> So... Ben Platt. I love that man. I love his album. This song is amazing, and my first thought upon listening to it was “wow, Evan and Connor in a nutshell.”
> 
> Thus, this was born!
> 
> I’m kinda having trouble getting myself to write stuff recently, so I was hoping this would get me back into my creative flow.
> 
> It sort of helped, but not really? It’s complicated.
> 
> But I’m working on other stuff, so that’ll be out eventually!
> 
> Until then, I hope you enjoy this one!
> 
> Sincerely, me.


End file.
